What little kids need to know about sex

I live in the Bay Area, where, in my estimation, which is very unscientific, about 8 in 10 parents are enlightened. It is mothers and fathers discussing difficult issues such as race, poverty and sexism with their children that are unaffected by the complexity and high stakes.

However, not all topics are treated sensitively and skillfully. When the majority of these open-minded parents talk to young children about sexuality, they become nervous and speechless. They do not even know what to say and how to say it. Private area research may be common in small children and suitable for development, but many adults who are responsible for it prefer not to admit it.

This, which is increasingly being considered by experts in child development, is a mistake. Adults need to talk openly and honestly about their bodies and relationships with their children. In this way, children can direct curiosity about their current sexuality and increase the likelihood that they will one day have a satisfying and respectful sexual relationship.

More than just sexually transmitted diseases and intimate relationships

For decades, school-based sex education in the US has focused on preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, and only for teenagers. The most important thing is how to avoid something bad, even with a massive blind spot in sexual assault.

Today, the curriculum has begun to go beyond the worst scenario, said Jennifer Driver, director of state policy for the United States Sexuality Education and Information Council.

More and more programs discuss relationships, sexual identity, biology, gender, boundaries and pleasure. Because the range has increased, the target audience has also expanded. Many experts now believe that preschoolers and early school children also need to learn about these issues, and a small number of American school districts have begun to teach them in the classroom.

Despite all these advances, the United States is still far behind the Netherlands. There has been taught for decades "comprehensive sex education" for schoolchildren. Pre-school children use dolls to learn anatomy and learn about the differences between male and female bodies and how the body changes over time.

The curriculum also includes lessons on friendship, love and how to communicate boundaries and desires. How do we touch each other? When is it right to touch other people? And when can others be touched?

"It's easier to start with young people because as they get older they still giggle but are used to it," said Elsbeth Reitzema, project leader for basic education at Rutgers WPF, a Dutch institute for sexual and reproductive health and rights.

"It's also important to tell children everything before they go to puberty, because they want them to understand how their bodies are changing and to understand sex before they have sexual relationships."

Research shows that this approach works. A 2010 survey found that Dutch children between the ages of 10 and 12, who had been sexually educated at a young age, knew more about their bodies, were more receptive to homosexuality and more self-confident when they set limits and preferences had to express physical intimacy. as those who do not.

Teachers in the Netherlands report an increasing openness to sexuality and conversations about the relationships between their students as a whole, as well as an increased desire to call someone into inappropriate behavior. Moreover, all these early sexual conversations have not made the nation's youth Caligula. Dutch adolescents have a high contraceptive rate and a low rate of teenage pregnancy and have no sex earlier than in other European countries.

How to talk about "Doctor" and talk more

Unfortunately, most American parents can not expect the words "penis" and "vagina" to be used in their local kindergarten classrooms in the near future. Until then, we were all homeschoolers in teaching their bodies and relationships to our children.

Books can help, but only arrive at a certain point. Unfortunately, most age-appropriate literature focuses on how babies are made and leaves everything else that interests little people. Their curiosity tends to drive south to their anatomy and mechanism. One part of her body feels different from the others and looks different than half of the people who know her. What's happening?

"Children are very curious about their bodies ... and about other sexes," Reitzema said. "They want to see other bodies, touch other bodies and explore the differences between boys and girls, everything is very innocent and part of the normal sexual development of children, they do not have the same attitude as us, they just want to know."

When the exploration of body parts begins - and that could happen - Reitzema encourages parents to start positively. Teach them the correct names for their body parts and tell them that it's okay if they feel it's fun to touch their penis or vagina. Then enter the qualification. Explain that the exploration of these body parts must be private. When you are with friends, it is very important to make sure everyone agrees.

"They teach them about boundaries and that they can say no to their penis and vagina, and they're responsible for who touches and sees them," Reitzema said. They also learn to talk with their friends and voice concerns.

Overall, early sex education is not really about the body, it's about the relationship. We can teach children to express themselves and to respect others. We can also teach them that there are many different types of relationships, some men, some women and some men, and that does not matter.

"You have to lay the groundwork early and show them how to communicate their likes and dislikes so they are ready when they arrive in high school and have sexual relationships," said the driver. "In kindergarten, this could mean talking about what it means to be a good friend and politely asking for a pencil or pen, it can be very simple and still teach them what the agreement looks like."

This conversation may be awkward, but - and that's the goal - only for parents. We are people who consider taboo masturbation. We are people whose thoughts plunge into the worst scenario when it comes to agreement. Many of us grew up in a time when sex education was associated with banana condoms in health education and stacking a dad's penthouse magazine. We work without precedent.

The good news is that our little ones may be pretty cool with them. They are soft clay puddles, soft, easy to influence and do not understand how sexuality was shrouded in secrecy and shame. We are the first and most influential leader on the subject. If we present pleasure as something natural and the limit as something that needs to be expressed and observed by all, they will probably see it too.

Source : edition.cnn.com

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